LEADERS NEED A ‘FRIEND OF GOD!’

One of the big problems in church leadership over the past 20 years or so has been pastors ‘burning out.’

Oh there’s still controversy over what really is burnout, breakdown, overwork exhaustion, depression and such.

That’s just the technical side and one for the experts to decide on. Definitions such as found in SM-5 type manuals can fluctuate and be updated as further research and case studies arise.

In truth, many times a person is labelled as depressed or bipolar 1 and given appropriate medication simply because the medical professions (Thank you for them, Lord!) can’t fully pin down the problem. But thankfully what is prescribed does help stabilise troubled people and get them going again.

Resultant in-house problems
A built-in problem has been/is certain leaders being afraid to acknowledge their health problems to their church and especially their executives. 

There’s been a wrong fear of being labelled a failure and that their faith isn’t strong enough, that they’re not trusting their Lord enough.

But, if such criticisms arise, they’re usually being expressed by insensitive people, by those who simply don’t understand leadership pressures, the fragility of the human mind and the need for leaders to be supported.

Result? Many leaders - in the business world, the general work force, the entertainment industry and politics too as well as in the church - have suffered terribly.
Anyone who has gone through burnout, or whatever the problem has been named, will quickly understand what we’re talking about without us having to itemise every aspect or category.

Both women and men are affected but men can be hit hardest – especially if their wife doesn’t understand what is going on and, as can happen, doesn’t even try. 

A man’s physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual side is tortured, particularly if she closes the door to deeper intimate closeness and criticises, demoralises and, worse still, doesn’t forgive unresolved matters from the past.

A church leader’s ministry can even be lost or at the least depleted, devalued and badly hindered!

Genuinely concerned church members
Then there’s another side to this as well.

We hear from some concerned church members that they recognise that their pastor is acting irrationally and is potentially heading for a breakdown. They’ve been observing that he insists on doing everything himself! He leads the worship (and not always in key), shares the church news, insists on praying for everyone himself and even runs every midweek meeting. 

And that he won’t take friendly wise advice and good counsel on board; take breaks, share responsibility, let others preach – especially the upcoming younger generation with great potential – or allow his eldership to share their thoughts and cautions.

The result is threefold –
1) People, especially good people, leave the church and he can’t work out why. 
2) The younger generation and other talented church members feel unused and unworthy. 
3) And more especially he’s going to come a cropper, or fail badly!

Such leaders urgently need ‘a friend of God!’ But they need to listen to him (or her) and act responsibly! Interestingly many times someone from outside proves the perfect fountain of wisdom here.

Moses and Jethro
The Old Testament gives a very clear example of this - without getting hung up on medical terms and defining it as an impending breakdown, depression, burnout or some new SM-5 category waiting to happen! Read Exodus 18 about the incident of Moses, the original workaholic and Jethro, the observant, wise ‘senior minister, wise counsellor.’

Not having seen his son-in-law for a long time he went visiting. Jethro was horrified when he discovered Moses’ heavy daily workload which he was carrying alone!

Workaholics always justify themselves and Moses was no exception! Read all about it in verses 13-16 and note the wisdom of this insightful ‘senior minister and advisor’ – The Message Bible puts verse 17 this way: ‘This is no way to go about it. You’ll burn out, and the people along with you. This is way too much for you – you can’t do this alone. Now listen to me. Let me tell you how to do this so that God will be in it with you.’

The NLT reads similarly – ‘This is no good!’ his father-in-law exclaimed. ‘You’re going to wear yourself out – and the people too. This job is too heavy for you to handle all by yourself. Now let me give you a word of advice…’

Verses 19b to 22 are princely godly counsel. Jethro adds in verse 23 (NLT): ‘If you follow this advice… you will be able to endure the pressures, and all these people will go home in peace.’

Listening and following through
The good news is that Moses listened to his father-in-law and things worked out for him and the people. A new generation of leaders was released to learn from Moses and to serve him, their nation Israel and their God.

Exodus 18:24... ‘[Moses] did everything he said’... should be a wake-up call today to every leader wearied by ministry pressures but still insisting on carrying heavy loads!

A further thought…Jethro is usually regarded as not only Moses’ father-in-law but the priest of Midian who deeply respected God and his miraculous delivering power. After Moses shared what the Lord had done for Israel, he immediately praised God in respect of Israel’s deliverance and proclaimed: ‘I know now that the Lord is greater than all other gods’ (V10).

In respect of our theme, let’s note that the word ‘Jethro’ was only one name associated with him. Indeed Jethro is mainly regarded as merely a title (meaning - as he was probably also a prince – ‘His Excellence’). Exodus 2:18 gives his major actual name - Reuel, meaning ‘friend of God.’

Responsible mutual accountability
Moses was a great leader heading for disaster but he listened to the wise counsel of a ‘senior counsellor’, a friend in contact with God, one who knew the Lord’s mind on leadership pressures.  A valuable lesson for today in respect of responsible mutual accountability!

Many times we don’t need lots of prayer, a prophetic word or a word of knowledge (although praise God for these supernatural operations), just some good balanced counsel, and to heed it and make every change necessary.

And ... guys... a fully appreciated good, godly Proverbs 31 wife of course who honours you and cares deeply! Remember, too, the promise in Proverbs 18:22: ‘He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.’

SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY

Recently we were invited by good friends to join them, their family and others on the special occasion of the dedication of their first child.

We had had the pleasure of marrying this young couple last year in a beautiful outdoor setting: now came this extra joy of seeing their son meaningfully blessed indoors - in a church by a special lady pastor with a great message and a challenge to guard his future spirituality.

But there was something else that caught our attention – prior to the service beginning, a warm welcome was extended to everyone on the three large auditorium screens – left, centre and right. We saw that church in a different light from how we see many that have little idea how to really welcome people.

How did we know the welcome was to everyone attending? The word Welcome kept repeating in a variety of languages. We doubt if any visitor or regular attender was missed.

Welcome - a warm word meaning ‘A kindly greeting to one whose coming gives pleasure.’

Seeing Jesus’ welcome
We were reminded of two biblical incidents – especially one that involves Christmas. Luke 2 tells of Joseph and the expecting Mary arriving at Bethlehem only to discover there was no room available at a certain inn.

Verse 7 reads, ‘She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.’

No room! Think in terms of ‘No welcome, no place, no room for Jesus.’ Room – this is topos, a location, particular spot, place.

Interestingly Jesus used this word topos in John 14:3 when he assured his disciples that he was going to his Father to prepare a room, a place for them! By inference, he who had no room prepared for his birth has ensured there’s a place prepared for everyone accepting him as Saviour – at our ‘new’ birth.

What a day that will be when we hear his welcome of ‘Well done good and faithful servant.’

That eternal place is really going to be something fantastic. There’s no way we can fully comprehend it just now while we’re still in this earthly body with its limited mindset. We can but let our imagination run wild, dream a lot, even recall some precious old hymns and choruses such as Eliza E Hewitt’s 1898 number When We All Get to Heaven with its splendid words:

Sing the wondrous love of Jesus, sing his mercy and his grace;
In the mansions bright and blessed, he’ll prepare for us a place.
When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!
When we all see Jesus, we’ll sing and shout the victory!

With our ‘spiritual mind’s eye’ let’s see it in faith now and rejoice. Sinners saved by grace alone and our acceptance of Jesus as our Saviour, we’ll be most welcome there!

Seeing church differently
Every church is meant to be a place of welcome for everyone.

You’ll find several articles on this in month’s Connect (the ACA onliner we’ve been editing - www.connectmagazine.com.au). For example, Anna Kosmanovski’s Church - It’s the Place to be for All Generations!

Good friend Steve Cross in his article, Time for a Change, says he sees himself as a man with a second chance, and part of a great local church.

Maureen writes about the importance of seeing our children as having great potential for Jesus and ministering in the anointing. See her article, The Very Centre of Kingdom Life.

And in Breaking News, our Kids in Ministry International friend Becky Fischer points out that Jesus himself sees kids as so valuable and has need of them.

Then there’s another interesting aspect of that word topos is scabbard – the sheath into which a sword or dagger fits tightly and perfectly and won’t fall out of. Churches must ensure that their people – both new and longstanding regulars – ‘fit neatly’ feeling secure, acknowledged and cared for. That those with talents are encouraged and used wisely. This too is an important facet of that word ‘Welcome.’

Disabled Tait Berge, Church Relations Mephibosheth Ministry Director, writes along these lines in Breaking News. His Anglican church welcomed him with open arms from the beginning of his going there. They saw the man, not someone in a wheelchair, that his pastor ‘says his congregation wouldn't be complete without my being part of our body.’ Churches that don’t welcome the disabled are lacking, believes Tait. He tells about the importance and advantages of welcoming such, and about his new book, In the Accessible Church.

Perhaps it’s time to think of church in fresh terms. Less mumbling about some matters that aren’t really all that important and to start concentrating on what really counts in gaining more for and in our churches. Such as making room for people usually shunned by society and recognising the incredible potential in our children and young people.

And of course being grateful for the wisdom and experience of our seniors, especially ministers who are often cast aside disrespectfully by some thoughtless young people.

Seeing the bigger picture
Many times in life people feel downcast because of certain difficulties. Times when thoughtful, caring people who see the bigger picture can encourage because they see things in a different light.

We also think of the amazing opera singer Paul Potts. It was Maureen’s birthday last month and we went to see the brilliant movie One Chance which tells his story – that of a kid with an outstanding voice who could only think of singing opera from when he was so young. Other schoolboys mocked him, his father and others including a most famous opera singer couldn’t see how he could make it.

Adulthood offered some promises but mockery after mockery, putdown after putdown, accident after accident and loss of voice seemed to doom him from ever seeing his dream fulfilled.

But the love of his young wife, her standing by him, her belief in him and her seeing things as they could be encouraged him to win a UK talent contest that gained him victory and renown. Not a Christian movie but a great one and full of godly principles!

Http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=medium is about a disabled man in need but getting nowhere. Until a thoughtful young lady comes by and lovingly helps others see things differently on his behalf. Check out how she makes a difference.

May we all be willing to welcome all sorts of people not only into our churches, but into our hearts and help them to achieve much through our seeing the bigger picture.

Oh, yes, about Christmas time and Jesus, may we never forget that it’s his right as Lord to have a topos – a special room, a definite spot, a particular place in our lives. And not just at Christmas time but always!

ANTINOMIANISM RESURGANCE

A seemingly dumb blonde, Eve, crashes into Adam’s car writing both vehicles off. As they’re all right themselves, she says, ‘God’s reminding us of his grace.’ Adam, a ‘Duh!’ guy, nods.

Eve adds, ‘Oh look… a bottle of expensive wine in my poor car isn’t damaged. God’s telling us that it’s okay to celebrate our safety by having a drink.’ Adam agrees as she hands him the wine. Adam drinks half the bottle, notices Eve hasn’t drunk any. When he queries why not, she says, ‘Oh, I’m just waiting for the cops.’

Some ‘Adams’ never learn! And neither do some Christians in respect to some common-sense matters!

Spiritual junk food
Two years ago we warned regarding the obvious lack among Christians of a desire to know God’s word, avoid careless Christianity, and to understand Paul’s warnings to Timothy, which are still so relevant.

In 1 Timothy 4:7 he wrote: ‘Stay clear of silly stories that get dressed up as religion.’ 2 Timothy 4:2-4 was for leaders: ‘Challenge, warn, and urge your people. Don't ever quit. Just keep it simple. You're going to find that there will be times when people will have no stomach for solid teaching, but will fill up on spiritual junk food - catchy opinions that tickle their fancy. They'll turn their backs on truth and chase mirages.’

Sadly over the years many Christians have done just that - ran after ‘the latest thing’ and in many cases have been deceived because they themselves haven’t taken time to study God’s word. They have fallen for weird so-called doctrines, have not sought a sound Bible-based shepherd’s guidance and have got caught up in wackiness. Unfortunately many end up totally confused and losing a grip on their faith.

Old spiritual chestnuts that keep coming round... 

• False end time predictions regarding Rapture dates 
• ‘Pay my ministry well, especially if you want a prophetic word’
• ‘New truths’ … ignore experienced senior ministers’ cautions 
• ‘Spiritual gypsyism’ - roaming churches to scratch itchy ears 
• Antinomianism - that first raised its ugly head destructively in the days of the early church. 

Antinomianism comes from the Greek meaning ‘lawless.’ In Christian theology it is a disparaging term for the teaching that Christians are under no obligation to obey godly laws of ethics and morality.

Even back two years back, this deceit - a wrong teaching about God’s grace - had already been going on for some months. Much confusion caused by ‘big name preachers’ and quickly grabbed by ministers not versed in scripture and God’s truths led to some Christians losing their faith through going back into worldliness.

Wolf in sheep’s clothing
For decades there’s been a saying: Weird church stuff soon filters from America to other western countries. Today spiritual rubbish has also been coming from Asia for some time.

Sadder still is this … because of wrong teaching and a lack of biblical knowledge among Christians and church leaders, Satan, that old wolf in sheep’s clothing, is able to sneak in with destructive corrupted ‘doctrine’ and bamboozle uninitiated ministers and churchgoers alike.

The erroneous resurgence of antinomianism has resurfaced! Concerned ministers who know God’s word and the Lord intimately are again hearing of false teaching such as:

• ‘The Holy Spirit doesn’t convict Christians, only the unsaved’ 
• ‘Once you accept Christ as Saviour you are under God’s grace and free to do whatever you want.’ 
• ‘It’s all right to be worldly, have extramarital relationships, smoke, booze and enjoy life to the full.’ 
• ‘You never have to ever apologise to God or ever repent of anything again!’
• ‘We’re sooooo under grace, God will overlook everything.’ 

Under grace? More like being under a spell!
And sadly some naive Christians, including leaders, have foolishly embraced this. Without God’s grace we would really be lost, condemned by God virtually every day because of wrong thoughts, wrong actions and words spoken in haste, as even the noblest but most honest leaders will admit.

Christians need to hear from the Spirit Christians may be saved and bound for glory but we’re still human and need to hear his prompting within to repent when we make human mistakes. The Spirit seeks to regenerate us – build us more and more like Christ every day, taking us really away from our old character.

Our good friend, Dr Jim McClure recently emailed the following quote from The Divine Conquest by the American Christian pastor, preacher and author, AW Tozer (1897-1963): ‘The work of the Holy Spirit is, among other things, to rescue the redeemed man’s emotions, to restring his harp and open again the wells of sacred joy which have been stopped up by sin.’

 A brilliant theologian himself, Dr Jim says simply: ‘Such false teaching is a result of eisegesis - reading one’s own ideas into the biblical text, rather than exegesis, that is, understanding what the text actually says!’

Egypt looming ahead?
Blatant acceptance of non-doctrinal garbage reminds me of that old Keith Green number, So You Wanna Go Back to Egypt.

The Israelites weren’t happy with what they had been graciously given by their caring God and wanted to return to captivity. Numbers 11: 4-6 says, ‘The riff-raff among the people had a craving and soon they had the people of Israel whining, "We ate fish in Egypt - and got it free! … all we get is manna, manna, manna.”’

 They missed the truth that God’s provision free! So is all of God’s goodness but discipleship - being a follower and obeying his word - costs! Foolishly they wanted to blindly head into renewed slavery! Accepting wrong teaching is accepting subtle devilish bondage!

Keeping the ‘new’ law
In Old Testament days God’s Spirit only came on certain people, empowering them to accomplish much. He never lived in them to help them fulfil the law. Christians live in better times, New Testament days, under the law of love and liberty, with the Holy Spirit living within to help us keep that law.

James 1: 22, 25 say: ‘Don't just listen to the word. You fool yourselves if you do that. You must do what it says… take a good look at the perfect law that gives freedom … keep looking at it. You don't forget what you've heard, but you do what the law says. Then you will be blessed in what you do.’

Yes, the Bible assures us that Christians are definitely under grace. But we can’t afford to go on breaking God’s laws! Paul strongly warns in Romans 6:1-2: ‘Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?’

The Message Bible says: ‘So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? I should hope not! If we've left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there?’

Written to Hebrew Christians who were ‘homesick’ for Judaism - like those foolish Israelites longing for ‘their Egypt’ - Hebrews 2:1 is both an encouragement and warning: ‘It's crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we've heard so that we don't drift off.’

May every Christian be on guard lest more heresy slips in.

A Determined God of Love

Recently we attended the funeral of a friend who loved Jesus. Held in a local Uniting Church, we were impressed as the minister, Tony Johnson, shared from his heart. 

Space doesn’t permit us to detail all that this soft-speaking Geelongite said but we’ll always recall the following– truths that are relevant to every Christian in their understanding of God, their following Jesus and living as he did. And in honouring God’s word and reaching out to everyone.

Tony’s welcome to the mixed gatherers - family, friends and those who were strangers to each other but had known the deceased through her lifetime daily exhibition of love, is a classic. Quietly and simply but meaningfully, he said: ‘Welcome to all of you – to those who believe, those who do not believe, those who do not know what to believe and those who have been too hurt to believe anything.’

In his eulogy, Tony made it clear that God is the God of determination – that through Christ he showed that he is the God of reconciliation.

Love reconciles
We were reminded of 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Message, ‘God … settled the relationship between us and him, and then called us to settle our relationships with each other. God put the world square with himself through the Messiah, giving the world a fresh start by offering forgiveness of sins. God has given us the task of telling everyone what he is doing.’  

Every Christian has had his or her sins – wrongdoings to God, others and even self – forgiven. It’s now our calling - conveying God’s message of reconciliation - to reach out to those who don’t know Christ as Saviour, friend and Lord and share the love of a determined God. 

Christmas, the Christian good news story of God’s Son, Jesus, coming to earth to begin his journey among us to reveal a determined God’s love, will soon be here. But we should take every God-given opportunity now as they arise and not wait until then.

Love demonstrated
Tony, reminding attenders that the departed was a Christian who shared much love to all, then made it clear that love determines a Christian’s status. ‘One doesn’t have to be in church every week to be a Christian. One has to be a follower of Jesus Christ to be a Christian. Some of you may be thinking, “Yeah, that all nice but I can’t believe in the fairy stories you guys talk about.” Well, I don’t believe in fairy tales either!’

He went on, ‘I know what the scientists say – but scientists cannot speak of love, cannot describe what love is. Scientists can tell me about biological revolution, about the particles in an atom but cannot tell me what love is. And that’s why I am a Christian – I see in the Christian story a God who is a determined God, a God who could give up on humanity but chooses not to. The Christian way of understanding God is that, as with the apostle John, we see a God who is love (1John 4:8). He reconciled the world to himself through Christ.’ 

Then he added, ‘You can argue with me about various things but you cannot prove to me that God doesn’t exist - because I know love. The greatest proof for God is not in a test-tube in a laboratory – it’s his gift of love that proves him a reality!’

Love overcomes
Celebrating the life of the deceased, he pointed out that she loved God and was determined to love others because she was loved by God. She loved her husband, family, friends, even the unlovable in private life and in her public career.

‘Every human being, Christians believe,’ Tony added, ‘is an image bearer of God – something divine lives in each life. I believe that in this lady we saw the divine through her endless determination to love. 1 Corinthians 13: 8 says that love never fails. Verse13 talks about faith, hope and love and that the greatest thing is love.’

He challenged, ‘As you walk away today: ‘Love one another! Love the unlovable. Remember and honour this lady by the way you live, in the way you follow the determined God – even as she did. Jesus said: “I am the light of the world. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”’

Love is simple
We came away rejoicing in our spirits that all had heard a message free of religiosity, one that had touched many hearts, whether they knew Christ as Saviour or not. That we all had been challenged in a very simple but clear manner. 

We’re confident that Tony Johnson’s words were Holy Spirit-given seed that will stir within and the truth about our determined God to reconcile people to himself will dawn at some point, if not at Christmas. That people will want to know God personally as our departed friend did and lived her life truly following Jesus.

Our own concluding thoughts were these: 

Ministers - When welcoming attenders on Sunday, don’t take it for granted that everyone there is a full-on believer or fully committed dedicated follower of Jesus; that messed-up, mixed-up and hurt people can be present too.

Believers - Are we all demonstrating that God is real and that he is love? Do we love others, especially the unlovable, the forgotten, the ignored, the hurt and those who don’t know God personally through his Son Jesus and his personal sacrifice on Calvary?

Churches – Many are talking about reaching their communities. Surely being image bearers of a determined God of love and demonstrating godly love determinately is a major key.

God still loves everyone! © 2013.10 

The Power of Words

A good friend who delights in finding funnies emailed this:

A guy bought a new fridge and to get rid of his old one put it in his front yard with a sign saying: 'Free to good home. Want it? Take it.'

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale, $50.' The next day someone stole it! 

Words have power

You could say it was all in the way the words were framed. Words do indeed have power.

Language is a great gift - for communicating, expressing, describing, explaining, directing, worshipping, preaching, teaching, admiring, adoring, inspiring and more, not only in speech but also in printed form. But sadly language can be abused and instead of people being built up with encouraging words it can be wrongly used to hurt, discourage and pull down.

There's an old Bible teaching about words - they have the power of life or death. Sadly some Christians use the power of words to hurt

others or force their viewpoint and will on others.

James obviously came across this and wisely gave Christians some strong warnings in James 3: 'A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything - or destroy it! It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell' (v5-6 emphasis ours).

He added, 'The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can't go on' (v8-10).

Tunnel vision

Sadly we come across people living double standards - they're supposed to be loving their brethren but their words come across in such a way that they're putting them down, belittling, condemning and falsely accusing them of not seeing 'the truth.'

And, repeatedly, 'the truth' is but their own version, their way of thinking and with hidden and personal agendas, not biblical or Christ-centred. A twisted mindset at work in people with undealt- with problems. They have a myopic spirit, a tunnel vision on what they believe is right, how they perceive things should be. And they wrongly delight to force their views on others. They display and enforce a domineering spirit.

An additional problem is that we live in the day of cyberspace. Not only do these hurtful, demeaning people use God's gift of language verbally but they type it up! The email age means that beyond speaking face-to-face (or behind backs as the case may be), or

demeaning phoning, hurtful emails hit the airways. With Cc and Bcc copies- who knows the reach of a loose computerised tongue!

Church members get criticised, pastors get verbally slammed, and seeds of doubt regarding leadership and church systems or seeds of doubt regarding leadership and church systems or programs are planted in minds at cyberspace speed!

Church wolves in sheep's clothing

There are times when such church people seem to have a prophetic edge, they appear to know what they're saying - especially if they themselves hold a form of leadership. Their words can be very easily taken in by the unwary who then begin to feel demoralised, put down with wrongly accepted feelings of 'Maybe he (or she) is right. Maybe I've got it wrong. After all, they know more of the Bible than I do and they're leaders.'

Jesus was also into warnings such as Matthew 7:15:'Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognise them.' He went on to instruct that we should stay away from such people.

We like how the Message Bible puts it: 'Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practised sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don't be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned.'

Condemnation - an evil thing

This is something such church wolves lay on the most innocent and precious of people. Condemnation can plough deep into the heart if we allow it to take root. Such people speak or email sneeringly and make us feel that we're in the wrong, that we're at fault. It's a subtle work of the enemy and in truth the wolf in sheep's clothing often has problems of his or her own and need some straightforward challenging and godly counsel!

'Condemnation' - the word means 'the act of condemning or pronouncing to be wrong; censure; blame; disapprobation.' Recently we came across a church that had lost a lot of good people because every Sunday the preacher - 'the wolf' - had always been condemning 'the sheep' in various ways. No wonder people moved on!

We all need exhortation, not condemnation! Satan condemns, people condemn and we can end up condemning ourselves as we start believing that we're not good enough.

Paul writes in Romans 8:1, 'There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.' A Bible college principal once explained "no condemnation" so clearly decades ago - 'If we were to go straight from the Greek into English, it would sound like bad English -  "No, not, nothing condemnation!"'

Now we know that this predominantly relates to our being covered by Christ's blood. But because we also know that we're totally free in him (John 8:36), we personally take this on board for every area of our Christian walk as we follow Jesus. Therefore we refuse to allow anyone to dominate us, control us and make us feel inferior. If we cannot see the character of Jesus in them or their actions, we refuse to listen to them, never mind even think that they could be right. In other words, we look for the fruit as Jesus suggested.

Our advice for anyone who is feeling condemned because of subtle words? Carefully assess the speaker's (or emailer's) character and ask the Holy Spirit what he's saying. No doubt you'll see things in a different light. Don't take rubbish on board.

As for ourselves, let our own words be life-bringing, not destructive. Let's be good gatekeepers.(c) 2013.09